Mi familia!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a great week! I am so glad you are a part of the family.
It was so great to recieve your letters today! I loved them. I feel so lucky to have such great family.
This week has been truly trying. I have truly never felt Satan working so hard in my life. It's almost amusing. I felt so worn down. Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong.... all week long. Sister Gneiting has had a very difficult time being here... and it's been hard to help her find the joy. She's a sweetheart.. I love her so much.... she is just going through a lot. I've learned so much about agency and hope this week.
For whatever reason........... I've come to feel like trials are my responsibility and they are not. I think because we spend our lives influencing progress and can make a difference, I feel like failure is our fault. I'm learning a lot. I'm learning to truly trust in the Lord and see what HE sees. Not what I see. From the trials this past week.... I was feeling very weighed down. It's been hard enough to keep the spirit in our companionship let alone apply ourselves fully to the work. I felt responsible.... for her unhappiness, and for not being able to give our investigators the type of appointments they need. It's been very trying.....
We went to a spanish training last week....... and to be honest....... at first I felt so excited! I wanted to apply myself even more and I love this language........ but then it overwhelmed me, because poor sister gneiting was really struggling..... she was on the verge of tears through the meeting as it was all in spanish and she's having a difficult time with it. My heart goes out to her.... and I have no idea how to help her gain the energy and fire..... so it overhwhelmed me and I felt responsible for one more trial.
Immediately after the training, Presdient Miller asked to talk with me. I am so very grateful for inspired leaders. I don't know how he knew. He took the time to work through things with me and gave me a blessing that truly helped so much.
Heavenly Father is proud of us for fighting the fight.
Satan wants to make us feel like it's hopeless.
Agency is a precious gift and I cannot wish it away...... even for someone's good.
I'm learning to surrender to the Lord and His will in His way.
I'm learning so much.
After the training things got harder, but I applied the lesson I learned and it solidified. I felt truly tested but I know I learned and I feel so much peace in the wind.
Yesterday we had the opportunity to attend the temple. President Miller asked us to ride with a member to the temple. That was a difficult challenge for us. We have few members, even less endowed, and none in the above category's without atleast one job. We have asked for a month and I just didn't think it could happen. Finally a less active member agreed and we were so excited for her to regain fire.... until the day before, she canceled. We felt very stressed but didn't give up. We tried two other situations and they both fell through.... It just plain felt like Satan was NOT going to let us attend the temple. Finally, the morning of, a ride came through and we were able to leave..... I felt so overwhelmed. As we got there and the session began.... I felt stress seeping away. By the time it was over, sitting there amongst all the white, I just felt overwhelming peace. Seeing so many friendly faces, dear President and Sister Miller... she sat and talked with me for a time about everything. It has never felt so clear. The world lifted and heaven remained. I can see God's will.
I felt like I had been holding to the iron rod with all I had through the mists of darkness, and now I could finally see. It was so peaceful. He answered my questions. I know what I need to do.
And now, even though I am back amongst the mist of darkness... I cannot erase the tree from my mind. I know God's will. I know He loves me. I know now, more than ever He is here, around me, bearing me up.
The sister who ended up driving us from the english ward offered to feed us dinner last night and I am amazed at how that changed EVERYTHING. It GAVE us fire. Sister Gneiting changed so much. Their examples and the spirit there was so strong. And as it turns out, her husband served a spanish speaking mission and would love to help us with teaching, and having family home evenings in their home. I feel so humbled. No wonder Satan was working so hard.
That's the biggest thing this past session taught me. He is always angry, he is always working hard. But if we just submit to God's will and ride the course through......... the peace and joy will come. The reason will come. This life is meant to be difficult to help us grow, just as Adam and Eve.
As I came home, I listened to this song on the new EFY CD.
It changed everything.....
"Let it Begin" by Julie Yardley
You might think
That no one's been through what you're going through.
And you might think
that nobody's made the same mistakes as you.
You are feeling
the weight of the world on your shoulders,
turn it over.
Just have the courage to take one step,
someone's going to be there to help with the rest.
To start is the hardest
but it's something that only you can do.
Don't carry the burden as the years go by.
You don't need that crushing weight in your life.
Have faith to pray for the strength to finally see this through.
There's one who nkows you perfectly
he can take the hurt away.
The healing starts within
just let Him in.
And let it begin.
You've tried hard to hide from the past and to bury it deep.
You're overwhelmed by all of the things that you know you should be.
Just believe.
Mistakes of the past don't define you,
they refine you.
Just have the courage to take one step,
someone's going to be there to help with the rest.
To start is the hardest but it's something that only you can do.
Don't carry the burden as the years go by.
You don't need that crushing weight in your life.
Have faith to pray for the strength to finally see this through.
There's one who knows you perfectly
he can take the hurt away.
The healing starts within
just let Him in.
And let it begin.
As we turn life to Him, he will guide.
I love you all so much and wish I had more time......... but Sister Gneiting is having a hard time... I need to go help.
Love you.
I'll write more next week.
Love,
Hermana Jardine
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| Our Car |
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| Our Place |
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| Our Door |
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| Rail Runner Double Decker Train |
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| ha... we laughed so hard :) "trade real indians" :) |
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| Bundled up |
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| Star gazing on a hard night |
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| Made it to the Temple |
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| The Temple |
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