Monday, July 19, 2010

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Hey my favorite family :)
Mandy (or should I say Sister Carter) comes in today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) I absolutely cannot wait! It feels like Christmas! Don't worry, I WILL find her today! :) I know it has to be immensely hard on her and her family.  I love them as my own and let them know I am thinking of them and they're in my prayers as is she.  Don't worry. :) I'll take care of her and she will LOVE it!!!!! We will send you pictures soon! And we will be home before you know it! I should get my travel plands the end of next week.  I can't believe it!!! I am excited but sad to leave! I LOVE it here! Mandy will too. :)
Well, I have another companion!! :) Her name is Hermana Callie Payne and she went to high school with Mckall & Scott. She is going to Argentina.  She was in the district above us, but unfortunately everyone else recieved their visa's and left last week but her.  She has a lot of patience.  We are now the oldest district and we're a trio! :) Probably the most diverse trio when it comes to personalities :) ha. But I love it!
Our new district came in on wednesday and I LOVE them!!! They are so great! 12 elders heading to Guatemala and Chile (Don't worry, I'm gettin em excited for the best place in the world!! ;) 2nd to new mexico and home). One is even Elder Oakden from none other than Bristol Road in good ol' Logan!
Sadly though, it's been a hard week.  When they got here, I really felt like they were struggling and felt like we as a companionship should teach them as companionships and help and strengthen them through the transition.  We didn't get to the companionship that needed it most before one of our Elders went home.  He was shy, reserved and home sick.  I will forever wonder if there is something I could have said.  I KNEW someone was struggling and knew I could help.  I feel in my heart I could have.  I know his life will never be quite the same.  I will never again wait to heed a prompting.
It made me want to be a better missionary.  To those in my coming field and those around me.
I have a deadline.
But I CAN make a difference.  I wish he could have seen and felt what I do!!! He would never dream of leaving this great place or work! But I suppose it's the same with the gospel and those hidden from the truth.  I wish they could see know and feel as I do.  But all men have agency and must learn for themselves.  I cannot and would not change that.  But I CAN make a difference.  I can show, teach, lift and inspire more than I am.  I can invite.
I will better fulfill my purpose.
On Sunday we had a devotional from Jenny Oaks Baker and a visitor in the audience, her father Dallin H. Oaks.  It was ABSOLUTELY incredible!!!!!! I LOVE her! She is an incredibly talented violinist and played for us for over an hour.  There is no way or form I feel the spirit stronger than through music.  I'm moved beyond words. 
Throughout college, all those mundane days filled with hours of coursework and deadlines ahead, I remember playing her songs over and over again.  It brought a level of comfort and support no other source could.  Those lonely long hard days were instead days where I could feel the Savior encouraging me along.  To work harder, to give my best to my work.  They were days filled with satisfying work, knowing I was doing as the Savior wanted me to with all my ability. 
Through those hours and hours of hymns, faith and hard work I grew close the the Savior.  Those songs bare testimony of wirds I couldn't even begin to say.  To sit there on sunday with those songs that got me through so many hard times and helped me truly feel my Saviors love and hand in my life was an absolute honor.
Ever time I studied over the past two years I had her violin as my companion.  Those songs filled my ipod and heart, cheesy as that sounds :)
More than anything it was an hour of reflection of the Lord's hand in my life.  To see where I began that first day of college, to where I am sitting now.  God LIVES! I KNOW he's guided me and I will follow him anywhere! He is real. He is near. Moments like that reach beyond the veil for me.  How could I ever doubt?
Through those songs I felt the nearness of my Savior.  Though I had no idea what tomorrow or the next semester would bring. And those familiar tunes comforted me this week even though I don't know my future.  I don't know how many children I'll have or what my struggles will be.  When I'll marry or to who.
I don't know what I will do with my life after I serve.  I don't know what New Mexico will be like, what my mission holds.
I don't even know what tomorrow holds.
But I know who holds it.
I love my Savior with all my heart. 
I will follow Him anywhere.
I know without a doubt He LIVES! And wants me HERE.
And so I'll be here.
I love you.
Times up but I'll write more next week!
It's a busy day so sorry If not many letters get out.
I love you all!!!!
Hermana Jardine
P.S. Tell Jer and Heidi congrats! Jamie I got your letters and LOVE them!!!! :) I will write you so soon! JJ you will be amazing!!!!! I can't wait for you to get here! Tell Mckall I'd love to get scott's case just tell me a color!

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